Attention: System recalibrating

^(I tried SO many times) 

Ever since I started writing on this blog, I have been a regular monthly/biweekly writer. Today, I'm writing after 4 long months. Change can be overwhelming and my last few months have been all about big changes - A new job, a new home, a whole new set of people who know nothing about my life - and navigating through all of that, evolving, sometimes changing has led me to not be in touch with my true self -And that's my bad excuse to not write, sing, sketch - do all the things I love to do the most. 

At the age and stage of life we're at - we are often way too hard on ourselves - To constantly keep running, keep achieving, keep winning, keep strengthening existing bonds, making new bonds, protecting ourselves from losing our security, ensuring our sanity, looking our best, being fit and being happy.

While I feel like this is just happening to me, it's happening to each one of us on an everyday basis. Striving to handle a million different aspects of our life and being a master at all of it often costs us our peace and happiness.

At such points it's important to take a step back and see the 50,000 feet picture.

• You are here because you worked hard to get here: People rarely feel like they're way too good for something. It's human nature to aim for things above and beyond. My first day in grad school, I felt like the youngest, naivest and least experienced out of the lot. The first day at my new job was weirdly similar. At that point it's so important to remind yourself that feeling small is a big thing, because if you don't feel small you're not challenging yourself enough. Sometimes it's important to give yourself a pat on the back and realize that you did a few right things and worked way too hard a couple of times to come so far. 

• You are here because of all the things that make you unique: We all have traits and skills that make us shine a little brighter. Mine include bending my thumb backwards to touch my wrist - among other real things. Ballet, music, poetry, a well articulated thought, perhaps basketball - whatever it may be is an extension of you and something you shouldn't stop doing. In the last 4 months I haven't sung, sketched or blogged enough which made me feel like I have lost touch with my inner most self.  

• You are always going to be inspiring to some people and you're always going to be supremely inspired by other people: Last week I got a very sweet email from a junior in undergrad and she spoke about how I inspire her to "chase her dreams". I laughed hard because of the mess I felt like on that given day - I legit slipped in my bathtub and stubbed my toe - The struggle was real. The same day I wrote to one of my professors in grad school illustrating to her a concept that I used at work that I had learned in her class. I told her how inspiring she was and what a pleasure it was to be in her class. Point being, whatever you do you're a role model to someone, and wherever you'll be you'll always have a role model.

• When comparing yourself to someone - compare every aspect - Being incessantly hungry sometimes comes with its cons. You compare yourself to people. A colleague of mine is a brilliant presenter,  she's flawless when we call into meetings and there's confidence brimming from every part of her being. While I on the other hand, sometimes snort while laughing and when I'm nervous I do this weird thing when I pronounce a word like I've swallowed my tongue and lost some teeth. At that point its important to remind myself about how long I have been in the industry, where I come from, what my skills are and just how much I have to learn rather than beat myself up and dull my sparkle.

• Are you doing what you're doing for your larger social circle or are you doing it for yourself? This is the biggest question that I have found myself asking. Lately, my social media activity hasn't been as fabulous. I went for brunch one weekend, and it was the worst brunch of my life - the pancakes weren't moist and my Mimosa wasn't sweet enough. But the clickeratti generation that I am from, I got a beautiful picture of my Mimosa and pancakes. I was awfully tempted to upload it and I went on Instagram to play with filters. Then came the moment of the big question, "Why are you uploading this, Juie?" - Just so I could upload a snippet of my fabulous life and delicious(not) brunch. This is a question that we often forget to ask ourselves at work too, why are we doing this job , why this company, why am I wearing this 6 inch pair of stilettos. Of course there are times when that 6 inch pair feels like heaven, but others when its a literal pain in the ass. Put yourself first. 

With this, I plan to more than make up for my 4 month calibrating sabbatical. Here's to more sketching sundays, singing saturdays and writing everydays. 

PS - This blog is now purely a personal blog. All my marketing related posts are now on www.storytellerlab.com. 

Love and much awaited California sunshine,

Juie